Consumerisum and Musicianship: Malaysia

After a 12 hour bus ride with very little sleep I awoke to a soaring landscape of high rise buildings and fantastic lighting poring in the bus window. As tired as we were the sheer scale of the city in comparison to what we had experienced the previous month was somewhat awe inspiring.



the bus stopped in the early hours of the morning and after being ceremonially ripped off by the taxi driver, we settled into a dive to catch up on some sleep. The next day we went in search of some more suitable accommodation, found the best deal we could, and settled in for a week or so. Shortly after we arrived I was seduced into buying what I was told was a genuine jailbroken Iphone 4 for a bargain price, but after getting home and charging, it became apparent that this was no Iphone. I took it back to the place I brought it and he was really not willing to take it back. for every argument I had he had some bullshit excuse. I started to get pretty angry (as I had paid him about $600 for the phone) and found myself leaning over the counter threatening to get the police involved. I tell you, I have never been so livid with a retailer in my life. After considerable assertion, and perhaps some intimidation, he agreed to give me my money back minus a $30 "admin fee". Well I was still not happy but I guess it is better then loosing it all. Over the course of the next week or so we frequented china town and bargained for souvenirs and bags for our families, Met and had drinks with some street musicians, frequented some GIGANTIC malls, and even went for a roller coaster ride inside one of them. We managed to fix Melissa's computer, but went shopping for our own replacement harddrive, and I decided to upgrade my own while we were at it. KL is an IT dream. But beware, if you don't know what you are talking about, you are prey. We also went shopping for a phone that we could use as a mobile hotspot to guarantee some kind of connection to the internet whenever we needed it. We ended up deciding on the Samsung galaxy SL, and spend a couple of days snifing out teh best deal, only to find that the promised inbuilt 16G storage, was actually 4G. My fault for not doing my research I suppose. Well there was no way I was getting my money back, so I managed to negotiate a reasonable rate on an additional 16G external SD storage card.

I had read about a drum circle in the lonely planet so we stuck around to check it out. We rocked up to the same place they have been holding the drum circle for the last 10 years or so, and soon met all the drummers. I soon felt at home, as I was kindly lent a drum, and even asked to lead the drum circle! (I declined), Sitting in that circle all of the stresses of the consumerist environment surrounding us melted away, and for a couple of hours, I felt like I was back home.
After the drumming had finished Paul, the founder of the drum circle invited us to join him for dinner. We graciously accepted, and were treated to what is perhaps the finest indian food I have ever had. Paul was even nice enough to drop us home after diner, and as we were about to part he suggested a jam night to me that happened to be on later that night! Well, we fairly much jumped straight on the train and were there in no time. the musicianship there was of a very high caliber and eventually I was invited up to jam twice. Damn it felt good. I needed it so much after over two months away from the kit. Towards the end of the night a guest band who normally played at one of the local hotels got up to perform a short set. Holy Shit they were good. Funky as hell ad-lib jamming, and the drum solo. Man, That guy was the best drummer that I have ever seen who was not part of an international tour. Absolute gold.
Anyhow, I returned to the hotel recharged, and with my faith in the inherit goodness of people restored.

From there we headed to Malacca. The first night we arrived was raining, so we ventured a short while and found a nice pub overlooking the canal to eat at. The next day we went exploring the maze of old town Malacca, found a Buddhist temple that did daily chants, and arranged to come back and record it the following day.



and at some stage we attended a coffee house show with crazy child acrobats and stuff.



I am a little bit hazy about the order of things, but one night we went to check out the local markets and stumbled across a street performance buy a man who holds the world record for piercing the most coconuts with his finger in any given amount of time. Well he was a great showman, and built thinks up for around an hour, during which time he decided it would be a great idea to include me in the performance.



His antics included having me select three playing cards for him to throw at me, and choosing a coconut for him to break, which I was then asked to attempt to break first. Hilarious. His routine also involved allot of hard selling of some kind of muscle warming lotion. I don't know what he was saying to the in Malay, but it sure was effective, The locals were buying his product by the dozens. Later on in the night we saw him at one of the stalls and he invited us over for a beer. We indulged in a couple and had a good talk to him about his Kung foo and his achievements.



He is a very proud man.
The next day we ventured a little further afield and wound up having a drink in a bar in the more townish side of town. Well it turned out to be a Chinese bar, with some weird dancing, karaoke singing, girls thing going on. We were well over charged for our drinks, and then a guy came over gave us a drink, and explained that we were out of place here. He struck up a long conversation with us, but something didn't feel right, so we left as soon as we could without finishing the drink he had brought for us.

From there we headed to Penang. It was Melissas birthday coming up, so after one night spent in a dive (the usual after arriving at some ungodly hour on an overnight bus), we moved to a nice island resort so that Melissa could get some pampering. Her only request was that the place had a spa pool that we could use. Well the next day we went in search of said spa pool, and after much wandering around and confusion discovered that the pool (air temperature), that was positioned adjacent to the Spa (massage) was infact the Spa - pool. Well Princess Melissa wasn't very impressed, and after acting like we belonged in such a poncy resort, we negotiated a complimentary meal for that night. We ended up using the Spa - pool anyway and it was actually a rather special swim with no one around and an uninhibited view of the bush and distant city. Very romantic.
We headed back to Penang and found a place to stay with a reasonable rate and made good friends with the catering staff. We looked around the local shops as usual and even got a cheep tour on one of those couch push bike things by some drunk guy. (ok so he may have only been drunk because I was giving him sips of my whisky).
One night we ventured into a pub to get a drink and kill some time while we waited for our blind massage appointment. On the way to the toilet I was approached by a drunk young Maori guy. I told him I was from New Zealand, but since I didn't know where his home town was (some town out near Te Awamutu) He didn't believe me, and thought I was Australian. Matters were not helped when he tried to test me by asking me who the Warriors played last night. After much convincing via Kiwiana trivia, and correcting him that St Pauls was actually in Hamilton and not near Cambridge, and that he was thinking of St Peters, He finally believed me that I was a fully fledged New Zealander, which I guess gave me some kind of membership. He asked me who I was with and then left to go find Melissa while I finished what I had come for. We were brought a drink, and told us that there were 50 New Zealanders upstairs as the NZ navy was in port, and it was someones 21st. Melissa objected that we had an appointment to go to, but he was pretty assertive that "your not going anywhere". We were dragged upstairs where we were introduced to NZ's finest drunks. I accepted their offers to buy us drinks without a shred of guilt as it dawned on me, that every other night, they were drinking on me. After a few interesting conversations with the crew we became weary of the scene. A room full of drunken sailors pumped full of testosterone, who seemed like they hadn't had access to woman for quite some time. Their agenda was obvious, and the frustration was palpable. We could probably have stayed all night and indulged in the madness for free, but after a few freebies we decided to make a run for it and see if we could still make our massage appointment.
The next night I met a south African guy who used to work at Ag research. His job was to make mice glow, which apparently he did very well. We got talking about all sorts of ecological issues and his wisdom soon became apparent. He is currently working with orangutangs in Sumatra to try and make Karmic amends for the eventual purpose his research was used for.
While in Penang we spent alot of time sorting out our indonesian visa's, and also visited the snake temple where I eventually plucked up the courage to actually hold a python around my neck, and got pretty damn close to some wild vipers (Its ok mum, They aren't allowed to bite us because they are in the area of the sacred snake temple, The Chinese said so)



That night we ended up being taken out on the town by the owner of the guesthouse we were staying at along with the rest of the pigmy evening staff and another couple of guests from Holland. Well we had a great time ripping up the dance floor and ended up drinking and dancing till the morning came while propping up the guesthouse owner and trying to convince him to drink some water.

A quick visit to the beach, and a day of getting lost on the bus system later and we were off to our next location - Langkawi.
Our first couple of nights were spent in an overpriced room close to the dock. We explored the island by scooter the first day and got chased home by an approaching storm. This thing was evil. It really did look like the smoke monster from lost as it approached over the ocean. ominous and creeping. Every time we turned back to look at it it had developed a little more, and crept a little forward. We managed to stay just ahead of it the entire way home. But as soon as we reached our guesthouse and parked the scooter the rain started bucketing down.
The next day we were not so lucky and got caught in a monsoon rain on our way to the cable cars. The eventual cable car ride was somewhat into cloud, but rather spectacular for it.



The next day we moved to a nicer and cheaper part of the island and relaxed there for a couple of days and made a few day trips to waterfalls and things with plenty of monkeys along the way.



The local beach and music scene was really quite good with lots of good food and quality music to be enjoyed. One night I rocked up to a music venue a bit late, and got talking to the staff, we took a table and chairs out on the beach, stocked up on a few brews and wiled away the night with guitar, singing, and talk about the state of the world. We also planned to organise a jam with the in house band the following night. We parted ways as the sun came up, which incidentally is the first time that I could really see his face, he was much older then I had imagined. On a bit of a high from the depth of conversation that morning, the water looked so amazing on the way home that I decided to strip off and go for a swim. The solo sunrise swim , while perhaps ill advised, was really amazing until I felt a stinging sensation brush across my wrist. It was a jellyfish. Unsure of the severity, I asked a few locals who seemed to think that I needed to go to hospital. Well it all seemed a bit over the top to me, but after some deliberation Melissa managed to convince me that we were better off safe than sorry. We took a taxi to the hospital. A jab in the arm and a bunch of money later, we were all happy as Larry.
That night I headed back to Little Lydia and took them up on the offer for a jam. It was great fun with some amazing musicians and a much needed release. The drummer in the band had heard about "The Project" and gave me a few pointers about where I could find some traditional Malaysian music, and in particular, drumming.



We followed it up over the next couple of days and I managed to get a few quick lessons before we finished up in Langkawi and headed down to KL ready for our flight to Indonesia.
We ended up overshooting KL due to not getting off the bus quick enough and ended up staying in a town slightly further south for a couple of days. It was all good to relax and recover, but I missed out on catching up with Paul before we left. All said and done, we packed our bags and headed for the air port. Destination: Indonesia

The last of Thailand for now: Trang

So. Lets see what I can remember about Trang. The mini bus from the dock was the most erratic that we have been on yet, with the driver weaving in and out of traffic like a crazy man. passing around blind corners etc. You know, the typical story that you hear from this part of the world. We eventually arrived safe and sound and one of the local people who must be paid to direct tourists, directed us towards a nice tidy accommodation within our price range with the all important WiFi included. Melissa spent a number of days there catching up on work while I wandered around the local markets before we hired a bike and headed in search of one of Trangs famous waterfalls.



This time we got a manual bike, which had a bit more grunt, but took a little while to get used to, i picked it up quite quickly as the days of hooning around the farm started to come back to me, and after an initially shaky test drive around the block, I ushered Melissa to get on and we were off down the road. Before long we were on some kind of major highway (by Thai standards) and I was feeling a little out of my depth with the speeds that seemed to be expected. We considered turning back but pressed on. Since I had to concentrate on driving and keeping us from getting killed, the navigation duties fell to Melissa who let me know whenever she saw a sign directing us to our waterfall. Unfortunately there are a multitude of waterfalls in Trang, and it is very hard to tell the signs apart, since they are not in english. We drove for hours and hours into the country side following these signs getting into more and more remote teritory. I had a feeling that we were of course from the waterfall we were intending to visit, but the scenery was so amazing that I didn't really care. eventually, just as we were about to give up hope, a sign pointed down a small dirt road which we followed until it became to rugged to continue via scooter. We proceeded on foot through a rubber tree plantation as the track wove its way through the trees before heading into dense bush. As we continued the track slowly started to become less of a track and more of an imaginary indent in the undergrowth. While contemplating weather we should turn back, or just see what is around this one last corner, we heard a scurrying in front of our feet, and movement in the undergrowth. Suddenly aware of the reality of snakes, we decided to turn back, and headed home. some time in the next couple of days we met a local guy and his pet european teacher. We hung out with them and got pretty drunk. He was nice enough to drive us around in his car and show us his local digs. When we stopped for food we suggested that he order whatever he thought we should try. what came back was "purple eggs" which is basicly boiled rotten eggs. Not something I would have normally chosen. Well we tried them and they are actually bloody nice! Something like a rich egg flavor with a slight tinge of blue cheese taste. Yum.
Then, one day, Melissa left her computer sitting on the edge of the bed and it slid off. An assessment of the damaged revealed that it would no longer boot up, and since it was integral to her income stream, we decided that we would have to leave for Kuala Lumpar immediatly, while she used my laptop to keep up with work in the mean time.
And so, a week or so earlier then originally planned, we hopped on a bus and headed for Malaysia.

We have to go back to the island: Koh Kradan

A short trip on the long tail and we were dropped off on the beach of Kradan. After hoisting on our backpacks we headed down a dirt path that lead into the jungle towards Wallys resort, named paradise lost. As we journeyed down the path we could hear various creatures rustling into the undergrowth and away from the path as they heard us coming. Thinking of the potential snakes I took care to keep well to the middle of the road as we walked. Before to long we could hear generators in the distance and around the corner the path opened up onto a clearing with its own little village built into it. The area seemed deserted as we looked around trying to find or hosts. Eventually we found them tucked behind a building servicing the water filter. Wally didn't seem overly enthusiastic about being interrupted but we were shown around the available rooms and decided that we would try out a fan room due to the significant savings. Internet still being an issue we spoke with wally about the various options on the island and he kindly lent us a couple of his dongles to try out for reception at the beach. Packs now stored in or shack, we transferred our computer gear to a day bag and headed back down to the beach. There we found a resort that had wifi available, but that charged by the minute for non guests. We sat there for about two hours trying to get something more portable to work. Both of wallys dongles, and even my cell phone as a modem, but nothing was connecting reliably. Frustrated, we returned to lost paradise with little achieved. Dinner there was very good. Wally likes his food, and he feeds good food to his guests. I was impressed when he jokingly apologized for not having any hinekin or double brown available for for me, and the conversation developed into wallys tails of sailing with sir Peter blake, and former prime minister Jim Bolger ( who was apparently with his secretary at the time. A detail which wally did not elaborate upon, but one that he found quite amusing.) As dusk fell the whole clearing lit up a glorious golden yellow, which quickly faded as Melissa rushed to grab her camera.




With the light expelled and few options for entertainment in the middle of the jungle we retired to or shacks for the night and read Faust to each other in silly voices by bedside light.
The next day we resolved that it would be best if we spent the next night at the resort on the beach in order to obtain free wifi. After making or apologies to wally we again donned or packs and headed back down the path. At the same time we were also discussing or cash situation and became increasingly aware that we were desperately low on cash with no ATM on the island. It seemed that we might be heading home early. At the resort after exhausting all options of credit card, or internet payment, we eventually managed to convince the offenders to exchange a $100 American bill for Thai baht at an inflated exchange rate. We set Melissas computer downloading and finally got ready to do some exploring around the island. Now in or togs and jandals, we spent the day walking along white sandy beaches, trying out abandoned Hammocks, and taking photos.




That evening we trekked across to sunset beach to watch the sunset, but it turned out to be a bit of a fizzer. The beach itself was lovely, and reminded me somewhat of home, except for the incredible amount of rubbish lined its high tide mark. As I watched dome locals play soccer with a giant mass of polystyrene, I thought to myself that I would never let anyone get away with that in my own country. But I guess this is their country to pollute.




Back at the resort we had the best fish that we tried in Thailand for dinner. On or way back to our room I was stopped and offered a whiskey by the resort staff who were sitting around the table parking shots top celebrate the end of season. I joined the rounds and soon enough a couple of guitars made an appearance along with a set of bongos. I was obviously in for the long haul and Melissa went off to bed without me. The next morning I couldn't find my sunglasses which were in my pocket the night before.
I went back to the spot I had been stirring and there was nothing in the sand. And when i inquired the staff said " we saw them last night but we do not see them today" i took this to somehow mean that they had been swiped and feeling hurt, decided that we were leaving today. Inquiring about the prince of a boat we were greeted with confused time tables and seemingly exorbitant costs. Thinking that we were being had I resolved to make the trek back into wallys to see when he was next going back to the mainland. Walking through the jungle by myself on a mission to find an old man who lived virtually in isolation to see if we could hitch a ride on his boat, I felt like I was in an episode of lost or something. Then came the kicker.
I found wally sat in front of the TV, and as I approached I asked "high wally how are you doing?" his reply "oh me I'm fair. They got bin-laden"
"your joking!"
I couldn't believe it. We both stood there more or less in silence for about five minutes as the breaking news cycled through reports. Once I got the idea that the reporting wasn't going to stop any time soon I inquired about the boat. Wally told me that his boat wouldn't be going tomorrow as his driver would be busy running an illegal lottery, and that the price offered by the locals previously was a fair one. He himself was probably going to shut up shop today as there were no more guests. Back on the beach we arranged to leave that afternoon. While we waited one of the older and better English speaking staff members told used that we were welcome to longer or even come back layer and stay for free, but we would have to eat with them, like one of the family and food would be limited to whatever was available at the time. This sounded right up my alley, and was exactly the kind of thing that I have come here to experience but due to power being limited to two hours a day, there was no way that arrangement would work with Melissas work so we had to pass it up. The news about bin-laden was bubbling inside me and I just had to let someone know. Stupidity I asked the staff if they had heard the news and registered my story to them. The reactions were of defense and disbelief. Turned out that a number of the staff were Muslim, including out boat driver, who looked agitated as he excused himself to male a phone call. I started to get nervous about the whole thing and got dragged into a couple of political conversations with fellow tourists that I felt I should probably be avoiding. When the time came for or boat trip, our driver could be seen running up and down the beach trying to sober up after having a few to many whiskeys. This didn't help with my nerves to much, but we boarded anyway and headed back to the mainland without mishap.

The dawn of misadventure: Koh mook

it has been a while for reasons that will soon become apparent, so the details are getting a bit hazy, but I will do my best to recall. We woke up really early and said poor tender goodbyes to our new friend wan. The journey to the ferry was in the back of a truck and when we eventually got there they told us that the ferry was broken so we would have to take a long boat instead. They were obviously lying to us, but hey, what were we going to do? We boarded the vessel along with a rather full boatload of people, most of which were going on a snorkeling trip. Seating was tight and I eventually retreated to the rear of the boat to sit on our bags were I was offered a hammock instead. Which was a freaking fantastic way to travel, especially after the early morning. While everyone else moaned and grumbled about how we had been gyped I swung gently at the back of the boat with my hands behind my head and a smile on my face. There were considerable delays as we picked up even more passengers but eventually we arrived at our first destination, which was a snorkeling spot for the tour people. We were told that we could join in so, determined to make the best out of the situation, I changed into my togs and grabbed a snorkel. The water was crystal clear and the fish were plentiful. Just what we needed in the middle of a hot day. Next we dropped a lady off at an island that had stunningly clear Waters and a beautiful beach. Melissa and I considered jumping ship and finding accommodation there but unfortunately stayed our course. Next up was the emerald cave which is stunning. After negotiating a jelly fish just by the boat we swam through a cave into pitch black while the surging tide created all kinds of crazy noses. Once out the other side were were rewarded with an isolated beach with sheer cliffs surrounding it. There also seemed to be a dis proportionally large amount off butterflies in the area. Presumably because they were unable to escape.

Once back on the boat it was finally time for us to be dropped of at our destination. We motored around to the main bay and were dropped on the beach. The tide was out and as we traped along hundreds of crabs scurried out of our way faster then I have ever seen crabs move before. After walking along a deserted beach we finally came to the accommodation that we had found online. Their fees were very high so we walked and then taxied, all across the island to find a better deal. We did not find one that included the much needed wifi, so returned back with our tails between or legs. The local workers did not speak very good English and every time we asked a question with any kind of detail they all chimed "bot bot!" and handed us a dialing cell phone we eventually decifered it to mean "boss boss" and asked our questions to a man with very good English on the other end. The owner turned out to be a bit of a movie buff and a bit of a geek. Luckily I am quite fluent in geek so we got along just fine. He had an extensive collection of pirated movies and insisted that we take a selection with us to or rooms to watch for the night. Melissa was suffering from some acute neck pains and was taxied into the village to be massaged back to health by one of the old ladies there. We spent most of our days at Koh mook wandering along the beach with a poking sick in hand checking out the local sea shore wildlife. Amongst them being both the smallest and the fastest crabs that I have ever seen, and the only four legged star fish that I can remember coming across. We came across some rouge Thai kids playing on the beach and after practicing their English by saying hello to us they smashed a glass bottle in or direction as we walked away. I am not sure whether they were trying to show off or intimidate us. A far more endearing sight was a young boy sitting on a beached long tail boat making motor noises worth his mouth and pretending to steer the ship. I can't remember the last time I saw kids play like that back in new Zealand.

After two nights at a far to expensive guest house we decided it was time to move on. We were determined to find crystal clear Waters like those we had witnessed on or way to Koh mook and had read that Koh kradan was one of the nicest in the region. We also read many accounts of this mystical sounding expat named wally who had setup a resort in the middle of the jungle on Koh kradan. All accounts of the man were unfailingly positive, and I just had to meet him. Even the locals on Koh mook when we said we were going to kradan would reply "you are going to see Wally?". The only way to effectively communicate with Wally was by text message and after trying for the better part of a day we managed to get a message through that we were on our way. We jumped on the nearest long boat and we were on our way.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

Time to slow down: Koh Lanta

Amid the scorching heat we one again donned our heavy laden backpacks and once again made the 20 minute trek down to the pier in the scorching mid day sun. Once aboard, we surrendered our packs to the back deck. I headed down to the bottom level of the ferry (since heat rises) while Melissa opted for the top glass house like deck. After a short wait in the stagnant mid day heat we were off to Koh Lanta. We arrived to something quite different to what we had just left. It was more similar to the outskirts of the Kamala that we had arrived to with a hint more shanty town thrown in the mix. We negotiated past the sparse smattering of rouge taxi drivers that were trying to convince us to go with them and located the driver sent by our accommodation to deliver us safely to our bungalow (free of charge). His vehicle of choice was a kinda three wheeled scooter which was basically a regular scooter with a one wheel trailer/side-cart tacked on the side. Our chaperone was quite laid back and we slowly meandered down the street towards our destination. The roads were much wider, and the buildings were MUCH sparser then our previous destination which left me a little despondent after the intensity of Phi phi. Not far from our abode I spied a bar called "Mr Guitar" and made a mental note to myself to head back there at some point.

Our hosts seemed like really nice people and we managed to negotiate a discounted rate with them if we were to stay a week. The quarters were a little more cramped then what we had previously experienced. At our request it came with a supplied mosquito net that isolated the majority of our room. With a river gently flowing about 10 meters away, and various pools of stagnant water sitting under the walkway we thought that we would need it.
After we once again worked out a plan for security, I headed straight down to the beach while Melissa experimented with the WiFi. On the way I spied a water monitor lizard scurrying towards the river and a bunch of crabs wrestling in the stagnant ponds. The beach was only about 100M away from the resort, a nice leisurely stroll.
A comparatively sparse collection of restaurants and bars lined the shore and the gradient of the sand steepened sharply shortly below the present waterline. Melissa joined me before to long and after a quick dip we wandered down the coastline to take in the area. Further north there were more expensive looking resorts and a few unique looking bars that lay deserted, I assume because of the low season kicking in. We returned to our end of the beach and chose a restaurant to dine at in time to watch the sunset, a peculiarly named "sans sunset restaurant" (I think they meant 'Sands sunset restaurant' because the view of the sun setting from our table on the sand was spectacular).

The next day we hired a scooter from our resort and headed south to explore the rest of the island. The lighter traffic and the wide roads made for a much more enjoyable ride then in Phuket. We cruised down the coastline, taking in the beaches and the small smatterings of towns. We came across a market and stopped to check it out. Most of the goods at the market were like something from a massive $2 shop. These were assorts of dubious quality goods available. Once we had a good look around we headed for the food section. The fruit stalls looked top quality, while the meat including fish was left out in the sun with flys visibly crawling all over it. With minimal discussion we decided not to purchase any meat and were about leave when we were pounced on by one of the more enthusiastic stall holders. He insisted that we smell his spice pastes the experience of which was absolutely delicious. He said that they would keep for 2 - 3 months and that they were ok to post overseas. while we were very tempted we passed on the pastes and left only with some coconut sugar, which he had pitched to us with the catch phrase "cook, cook, eat" If you ever get to taste it, you will understand what he means (But you can't have any of ours because its gone already).
Back on the road we spied a hand written sign speeding by that simply read "Cave ->". Being all free of heart, I promptly made the turn before asking Melissa if she felt like going to see a cave. Thankfully she did. The road became decidedly more "Off road" then we had encountered previously, and at times we wondered if the poor scooter was cut out for the job. Eventually we arrived, But once we saw the pictures and were informed of the 350B each fee, we decided to give it a miss. We did however gather some information about where the hell we were, and made a plan to cross over to the east side of the island and go visit the sea gypsies down the bottom. Carrying on through winding roads skirted by gorgeous tropical bush we eventually stopped at a restaurant called "panorama". There we had the freshest watermelon, and mango juice ever (seriously recommended!) before carrying on down to gypsy land. Once we got there we felt a little like we were intruding as the villagers sat fixing their nets and staring at us as we past. No genuine gypsy food restaurant in sight, so we headed home back the way we had come.

*insert sound of needle being pulled off a record*
You know what. There is no way I am going to catch up with this blog if I continue in this kinda detail, So I'm sorry, I am going to have to give you the condensed version.
*needle plays again*

That Night we dined in a reclining position at the sunset restaurant, and then grabbed a mojieto before cruising back to check out Mr Guitar bar. There we discovered Sangsom by the bottle, and began to hound the owner to let me jam with them. Oh and some Thai guy Tried to get me drunk. It was hilarious. first time the language barrier really came into play, But I learn how to say "cheers" in two different ways in Thai, and a bunch more words.

The next couple of days Melissa caught up on her work, and I did a bit more on my blog, and some research our travels. I can't quite remember because it was a WEEK AGO! Somewhere around that time we met "Wan" She was a new recruit at our resort and we got to know her quite well. At first she was pestering us for money/ work, but we soon became friends after helping her to check her e-mail and arranging a Skype call for her to one of her friends. You should have seen her smile! Turned out she was a pure bread sea gypsy and had a very naturalistic view towards life. I liked it. She reminded me of a Thai version of some of our friends back home but way more extreme. The night after last time we went back to Mr guitar bar and successfully infiltrated the band. The owner arranged a djembe for me, and I got to play on stage with the band. It was very cool, and I think the jam worked really well, But after only two songs I split my finger open from playing to hard. Turns out my fingers have gone soft after so long away from the djembe. Not cool.
Once Melissa had finished her work we set off on the scooter again, this time to "Monkey school". On the way there we got seriously off road, which was great fun and had a real sense of adventure. My days of farming motorbike training paid off. Playing with monkeys was awesome fun, but The wires around their necks put us off a bit. Not sure if we will continue to give the animal training industry custom. On the way home we went shopping and I brought a couple of pairs of trousers. Think I am getting the hang of haggling now. Got a pair of long fisherman shorts for 150B
Went back to Mr guitar bar and drunk with the band. it was their night off. Offered to record the band with my zoom mic for free.
The next day we cruised a bit and visited old lanta which was nice.

walked away from a really nice pair of hand made leather jandals for 600B and kinda regretted it. Went back to the panorama restaurant cos they were so good. Got talking to the owner. he us an awesome guy. Really switched on, and I feel like we really connected with him.
That night went back to Mr guitar bar with Wan and recorded the band. Everyone seemed really happy to meet me and one guy (I think he was a sea gypsy) even gave me a necklace. Its simple but I really like it.
The next day we left.

A slice of paradice: Koh phi phi

We woke up at abut 11:00 and hurriedly showered and packed our things taking care not to leave anything behind. We were out in time for the prescribed 12 checkout, and sat down with our bags at a caffee next door to our pick up spot and fed ourselves a Thai breakfast. No sooner had we finished our meals that our transport turned up and we quickly loaded all of our bags into the back and headed off towards our destination. There were a number of stops along the way to pick up fellow travelers and I got talking to a group of Malasians that were on holiday and also headed to Koh Phi phi. I discussed our plans with them and they suggested that we would be best off heading inland soon after koh lanta and traveling to Kuala lumpa by bus. I took note of this option and continued to scratch their brains for recommended destinations once we reached Malaysia. Once we reached the dock it was a short wait before we headed off on the ferry. I took the opportunity to write a few notes in my private journal and soon we were greeted by the site of Koh Phi phi. I noted that it looked alot like the island from L O S T and took in the dense green bush and the crystal clear blue waters as we motored into the dock. This truely looked like an island paradise. As we disembarked from the ferry and were greeted by a torrent of trolly pushers from various resorts waiting to take the respective punters luggage and show them to their rooms. After considerable to-ing and fro-ing we discovered that we had no such trolly man waiting for us, as we had only booked online this morning. To make maters worse our resort was one of the furthest from the dock on the island and it was about a 20 minutes walk away durring the hottest time of the day . Oh and did I mention that the island had no taxis? Transport is limited to foot, and a few bicycles. While I was in a good disposition and determined to take the challenge on in good spirits, (besides, what other choice did we have?) Melissa was not so much. There was allot of grumping and grumbling as we navigated the maze of streets towards our destination. When we finally got there it was instantly worth all the effort. Our resort was nestled in the side of a hill backed by the native island forest, and it had a pool.



We wasted no time securing our gear in our bungalow, donned our togs and headed for the pool. There we were greeted by a grinning Thai barman named "Bee" who was more then happy for us to enjoy a few beers while we swam. Finaly relaxed we started to drift into the experience of the phi phi life style. A few beers into it we were joined by a couple of guys from switzerland and got talking on topics varying from business management to the subtitles of the Thai language. After I turned down his offer to eat a cicada that he had caught Bee called me over and started to pour us both a shot. One for me and one for him. I don't know what was in it but he lit it on fire and we consumed it through a straw while it continued to burn. The effect was similar to what we would call a backdraft in new zealand. Bee informed me that the shot was called a B52 Blue, and that it was his favourite. It sure did the trick. I returned to the pool for a few more beers and as darkness fell we saw what looked like large moths darting around the light beside the pool. Upon further enquiry I found that they were actually bats feeding off the insects that had gathered around the light. They made short work of them and they soon moved on. Bee joined us all in the pool, and started telling us about his life. He told us that he had been a Buddhist monk for one and a half years, and while he was there he worked all day in silence and was allowed to speak once a day when all the monks met to talk about what insights they had gathered. He also said that for two months he had lived off only one bowl of rice a day and that the purpose of this exercise was to understand how little he needed so that if he ever came across someone else who was in need he could give to them knowing that he could survive. His father had become a monk forever, and he himself would return to monk hood in six months for an unknown period. I admired his dedication. By now the swedes had already headed down to the beach so Melissa and I got changed and headed down into the maze of stalls and restaurants. We had dinner at a bar that sported a moi thai boxing ring in its centre. The signs being carried around by the staff indicated that if you volunteered to fight you would recieve a free Bucket of piss for your troubles. I considered giving it a go (so that I would have something interesting to write about) But Melissa convinced me that I had just had to much to drink and that it was not worth it. After our delicious dinners we continued our way around the maze in search of a bar that had advertised a full moon party that night promising a free bucket and BBQ on entry. After wandering around lost for at least an hour we discovered that it was on the other side of the island, not to far from our resort. We eventually found our way and stumbled along the beachfront amidst dazzling neon lights, fire performers, and massive sound systems. We brought ourselves a Bucket each (two for one) and caught up with our Swedish friends.



They were feeling a bit had it as they had apparently burnt thier wicks at both ends the previous night so they retired while their girlfriends stayed. After a bucket primer we were well and truly ready to dance. We painted ourselves up with the freely provided neon face paint and proceeded to dance the night away in the idealistic setting that seemed more like something off an TV advertisement than reality.



At 3 am the main party bars all shut off their sound systems and we retreated to one of the chill out beach bars closer to our resort. The beach party atmosphere had been to much for me, and I had been looking for a djembe to play all night long. When I inquired at the chill-out bar the owner confirmed that there was no djembe on the island, so I instead requested a pot which he allowed me to play for a couple of minutes, before he told me that I was welcome to come back and play if I brought my djembe with me. I got talking to some of the people at the bar, a mother daughter couple that were traveling around the world together at the Mothers expense. I told the daughter that I hoped she appreciated it which prompted approving looks and gestures that I should be listened to from her mother. We got talking about education in Florida and the way that different generations were responding to technology when we were cut short by Melissa demanding that we go home. She was jealous and percieved that I had been flirting. We had a heated discussion on the way home and ended up wandering our separate ways while negotiating the labyrinth home. We were both drunk and hopelessly lost and crossed paths a number of times as we tried in vein to find our way back to the resort. After quite some time we reluctantly agreed that we needed to work together to figure out our way home, and after quite some more time, we arrived back at our resort. Once Melissa was settled into our room I headed back out to see what was going on in the lobby of the resort, It turned out that the workers were having a game of poker, and intrigued I politely asked if I could watch, I went over to Bee to see if he could help me understand the rules, but it was beyond me in the state I was in. Then all of a sudden everyone flew into action. The game was packed up and the players instantly dispursed. I was left on my own. Somewhat confused I made my way back up the stairs to our resort where I crossed paths with one of the kittens that hung around the resort.
just the thing to get me back in Melissas good books I thought. I scooped up the kitten and carried it to our room and offered it to Melissa. It worked a treat. As much as she wanted to stay mad at me, she was unable to resist the calming allure of the a fluffy little kitten.



The Next morning while I was playing with the kitten and nursing a hangover, The fluffy little bundle of cuteness sneezed in my face and a little of the discharge got in my mouth. In that instant all of sudden the idea of bring the kitten into our abode seemed like maybe not so great a decision. For the next two days I nursed a terrible hangover combined with mild diorea while intermittently researching diseases potentially carried by cats in Thailand.

When I eventually recovered Melissa had completed most of the work that she needed to get done so we went and booked a half day sight seeing trip on a longtail boat. at 250B each including a free bucket we think we got a bargain! The first stop was Monkey beach where the monkeys looked like they were a little over harassed and maybe sick of being pestered by tourists all day long.



After that we stopped off at a bay for a little cliff jumping before heading off to a swimming area in an absolutely stunning setting.

Next it was off to a snorkeling area where we saw long toms, angel fish, parrot fish, a moray eel, and a myriad of others that I could not name. 40 minutes later it was a small trek through what looked like pirate country to Maya bay which is famous for being the shooting location for some of the movie "The Beach" before heading home to watch the sun set on the boat and enjoy a bucket while the Thai skipper sung us a song.



based on my conversations with them this is what I think they could have been singing

The road continues on: Patong

Just after my last post a couple of the locals came over to us and started talking to us about our gear, asking us about how much it was worth and things like that. When we returned back to our hotel room we had a think about the questions people had been asking us the past couple of days, and the fact that we had seen the locals all talking to each other. If they shared information they might be able to find out where we were staying, our room number, and what gear we had. Because of this we decided that it would be best to move on to another town the next day and resolved that in the future we would take note of a hotel next door to where we are staying and if asked where we are staying will tell people a false name and room number.

We decided that we would head to Patong for a night before heading off to ko phi phi and then island hop our way down to Malaysia where we could sort out a double entry visa in Kuala Lumpa.

The next morning we loaded up and checked out of our hotel. This was the first time we had carried all our gear on our backs, and it was bearable. Right outside our hotel was a car with a make shift taxi sign sitting on the room. He would take us to Patong for 400B . He loaded our gear in the back and removed the taxi sign, and we were off. Durring the journey he asked what our plans were and insisted on calling our hotel ahead to let them know we were coming. I suspect he was asking them for a commission. When he heard that we were planning on heading to ko Phi phi he said that he could take us to a place that would sell us a ticket for $600B each and would pick us up from our hotel door. This sounded pretty good to us considering that our taxi fare to pa tong was costing 400B. We arrived at the travel agency and brought our ticket and then carried on to our hotel. When we got there they wanted 800B per night which we was more than we wanted to spend, so I ran from hotel to hotel asking for prices while Melissa stayed with the bags. We found a nice room for 650B and moved in for the night.

Once settled in we decided that we needed to add an extra padlock to our arsenal to allow us to turn the cabinets that seemed to be a staple at our accommodation into our own private lock box.
We headed out into the fervor that is Patong city. The difference between Kamila and Patong is extreme. The traffic was considerably denser and there were shopping stalls everywhere, and lots and lots of Australians. A local at kamala told me that there were alot of Australians in Patong, but I don't think I really believed him until I saw it myself. The air is filled with their twangy accents.
We ventured along what seemed like the main street and took in the sites. Our mission was to find a cash machine and a padlock. While on our journey we came across our first imitation iphone. After i inquired about it the owner asked if we would like to buy some DVD's and opened up a false wall that revealed a cavern of Pirated DVD's. I spied amongst the titles a copy of "BOY" which filled me with mixed emotions. I wanted to take a photo but he wouldn't let me. We purchased a copy of "source code" and continued on our way.
Our inquiries for a padlock and chain were getting us nowhere until one stall owner suggested we would be best of trying our luck at the mall. The mall was rather massive and we got a little bit lost at one stage. There were alot of cool things for sale that I have never seen before. While on our mission to find our padlock we were also coerced into purchasing two garments for Melissa and a stingray skin wallet. The wallet was my first successful haggling experience which felt good. Its not as easy as one might think to haggle well. Eventually we found our padlock in what is the equivalent of "the warehouse" in Thailand. It even had the same colour scheme in its branding.
We headed back to the hotel and got ready for a night out.
After dinner we headed towards the beach, and once we hit the main party street there was no mistaking that we had found party central. We were immediately approached by a man who was offering free entry to a "ping pong" show. Melissa and I looked at each other nervously and um'd and ah'd before deciding that we should check it out. We were lead to a bar and shown to our seats where we were told we could have "free visual" if we brought a drink each for 800B We thought that was outragiously over priced so we got up to leave, as we were about to head out the door they made us another offer, and so the haggling started. We ended up agreeing to stay for 400B for "two visual" and a drink each. I Don't think I should go into to much detail about the show, other then to say those ladies are well practiced at their art. If you are curious for more information you can garner some more insight here: http://100daysoflyrics.blogspot.com/2011/04/day-48-what-do-these-things-have-in.html

After a couple of hours of the show we continued on down the streets of Patong. The bars were lit up like los vegas with go go dancers dancing everywhere, and a few bars featuring flamboyant lady-boys (who seemed to put much more effort into their dancing then their purebred counterparts).
We ventured along the beachfront where Melissa had a very violent reaction to seeing a beggar on the street with no arms and no legs.
Down another side street we came across an art gallery that had the work of three in-house artists displayed. One of which I thought was particularly gifted. I inquired about the price and was told that typically a large painting would be sold for around the equivalent of $200NZD and furthermore I could bring a photo, or picture that the artist would then copy for me. This got me thinking about the possibilities, but disappointingly the shop had neither a website or an e-mail address. Still, its food for thought. While I was talking to the shop owner Melissa started to complain of a crook stomach so we took our leave and headed back to the hotel.

Melissa was unsure whether she was going to be ok to go out again, and after a while suggested that I go to get the leg massage that we had planned by myself. I headed out onto the streets and walked past a couple of massage shops that were closed, and a couple that I thought were to expensive before eventually finding a place that had a price I thought was reasonable. I tried out my Thai and asked for a discount but they just laughed at me. after agreeing to the price, one lady took me by the arm and started leading me down the allyway towards a hotel, and imediatly started to attempt to convince me to upgrade to a full body oil massage. About now I started to wonder what I had got myself into and reiterated that I only wanted a foot massage. She led me up to the 15th floor of the hotel where I was quite on edge given that this was mt first time out alone in Thailand and I was now 15 floors up in a strange hotel where no one could hear me scream. The establishment looked legitimate enough, but I kept concocting scenarios in my head by which I would somehow wake up minus a kidney. These concerns were not helped at all by my masseuses appeals to me that I should sleep. sleeeeep.. just sleeeep. While I could easily have slipped off I consciously fought against it. I was rewarded with cheeky taunting and teasing by all the masseuses in the room who had obviously been informed in Thai that I didn't want to "make special massage" because I was afraid of my girlfriend. Apparently something that is not common in Patong. After an hour long massage that would have been great if I had not been fearing for my life I was lead back down to safety, but not before one last appeal for me come back and let her "make special massage". I politely declined and told her I might come back tomorrow with my girlfriend. Once I got back to the hotel Melissa was feeling much better. I recounted my tale to her and thankfully she was very understanding and not angry, but not before making me look her square in the eye and tell her that I didn't get a happy ending. Having had quite enough adventures for one night we retired to get some sleep ready for the journey ahead in the morning.

When will the action end!?

Its just all to much to tell you all about. How can I possibly begin to communicate this place? By implying that I cannot communicate this place. Thats how.

So after having by far the best crab I have ever eaten in my life for dinner we went out to a bar last night where we were told it was the Bar owners wife's birthday. There was to be free food and vodka shots, and a live band! I was sold. We cruised in there and were shown around the establishment by the door guy, an American expat named Joe. We met the lady of honor and sat down at the bar for our first round of drinks. before to long one of the local drinkers Chihuahua was released from its hand bag residence and set free to run along the bar top meeting everyone who was sat for a drink (or trying to escape). It was a real hit with the ladies. I got talking to an Australian who has been living and working here for 6 years, and he kindly offered me a job which I had to politely turn down. Not bad for our first day in the country.
our drinks were refreshed as quickly as they were consumed and within a short while we felt that we had endulged enough for our first night out. We had a quick wack on the in house congas before taking off to bed.

We got up at about 10 the next day and headed down to the beach for our complimentary breakfast while we contemplated how to spend our day. Once we had eaten we headed down the street in search of a tuktuk to take us to patong. We thought the requested price of 400B (about 20NZD) was a bit steep so we went back to our hotel and inquired about hiring a scooter. 150B per day later we had taken our lives in our hands and headed down the road on our very own click start scooter.

WOW. Driving in Thailand is a whole different game from back home there are scooters, cars, and people threatening to jump out from every direction. Melissa was holding on for dare life and screaming advice on every perceived hazard in my ear. Once we adjusted to the new rules of the road, I think we did ok. We headed up to a beach that the birthday girl (nicknamed "Ding Dong") had recomended to us the previous night, descended the high gradient rough as guts staircase and were treated to a serene, yet commercialized beach for our troubles.
We spied an interesting looking staircase in the rocks on the right side of the beach and ventured along them to discover a nice boutique restaurant at its end. We were quite peckish by now so we treated ourselves to the mixed fruit plater, coconut milk (including coconut) and a coconut shake.
Once we had mission-ed up back up the stairs we took a moment to catch our breath before heading up further north in search of undiscovered teritory. On our way we spied some elephants, so we had a quick ride on them and then carried on to yet another beach. We went for a walk along the sand before discovering a clothes shop we liked, where we purchased a couple of pure cotton and silk garments from a very helpful Thai lady. We had a quick look at some tattoo designs at the beach tattoo stall but nothing took our fancy so we remain un inked - for now. By then it was about time for dinner so we purveyed the beachfront menus and sat down to a couple of Thai green curries while watching the sun set.

We headed back and managed to avoid ending up a mangled mess on the side of the road, and now I am typing some words for you good folks.

Will we hit the bars again tonight? We will see.

(Photos to come)

The story so far:

Hi every one. I thought I might start a blog about our travels so that anyone who is interested can keep up with what we are doing and so that I have something to do while we are stuck in net cafes downloading copious amounts of photos from the internet for re-touching. I am also keeping a writen journal of events, but I that will end up consisting of more personal developmental moments as we go along. although I may repeat some items from it here.

Here it goes:

The adventure started right at our first boarding gate. While we had arrived at the airport within plenty of time, Our bags had been checked and our boarding passes issued, We hung on to our family goodbyes to the very last minute. No sooner had we stepped through customs that the loud speaker announced that it was the last call for our flight, so we had to get a bit of a jog on. We had a small wait in line to get on the plane, and as we were cleared from the boarding gate I heard the checker man say "thats it, the flight is closed" I couldn't believe it!

What can I say about the flight? It was long. Really long. Well... 12 hours long. I know some of you have done longer, but this is by far the longest flight we have braved before. Melissa got walked in on while vacating herself because she didn't close the door properly, and then a couple of hours later spilt coffie all over her lap while navigating her headphones cable. Fun times.

When we got to Singapore to transfer to our connecting flight I thought i would take the chance to sample one of their world famous spotlessly clean toilets for a quick number 2. However when I entered the only available cubical I was a little surprised to find one of those world famous squating type toilets. I tried out the pose for fit, but didn't fancy my luck getting out with clean shorts and an able back, so I held on. Melissa brought some highly contraversial psudoephidrene medication from the airport pharmacy, and asked if the label on the packet was in New Zealand dollars. In her defense - Singapore airport does look alot like New Zealand, except that it is run by Singaporians.

Arriving at our final desination our nerves were near thier end. We were increadably tired (I had only managed to get 2 hours sleep the previous night due to pre travel nerves), and generally just anxious about what we had in store for us. Getting our visas was a breeze. Except that Melissa had filled out her arrivals form incorrectly and so had to go and get a new one and join the back of the queue, while I was made to wait on the other side of the desks. When I asked if I could go back through and help her the official replied " AHHH allies! one person is one person, not two person." - He obviously doesn't know us very well.

I had been warned about the onslaught of ride offers that would be wiating for us outside the departures gate, But I still wasn't ready for it when it hit. One guy pounced on us and tried to convince us to go with him. We managed to haggle him down to 650B but when he tried to get us to pay for a ticket (read piece of paper) before actually seeing the taxi, we walked. The next reputable looking taxi we found wanted 1000B and told us that there were not many of the usual taxis working on account of it being dubious. Melissa pointed out that there was a sign outside the taxi stand confirming what he was saying, so we took his offer of 900B and got in. Durring the journey the driver told us his story of how his wife was skinny when he married her, but now, since she was a cook, she had got fat. Then he started to pop the clutch and bunny hop the car on take of and as he was driving, appologising and complaining about how he had no money to fix the car. he suggested that maybe it was the sparkplugs, and I replied that maybe it was the way he pressed the clutch in. About then I started getting dubious about where he could be taking us. How would I know if he was taking us to our hotel, or the local organ farm? Anyway we got there in the end and our receptionist was a lovely lady. We tried out out jet lagged Thai hello's and thank yous and settled into our room.

It looked like something straight out of "the beach" and when a cockroach scurried out from under the desk, I insisted that we put up the mosquito net for the night.

6 hours of nervious, jetlaged, bug dream waking sleep later the sun was up and we were to excited to succum to our bodys pleas for rest. We headed to the beach for breakfast and then took a walk along the beach front. This was more like it. The beach was beautiful and there were plenty of stalls for us to look at. Somewhere along the way I realised that jetlag is really trippy. I kept getting these waves of light headedness which I can only describe as similar to the feeling you get when you throw yourself forward to repent at an evangalist church service and the priest is standing infront of you ranting and raving and filling you with the power of Jesus.
I think the swim in the luke warm bath of an ocean and the beach side massage has fixed it though. The whole day was quite surreal.

Things are quite expensive here, except for the 7 elevin where we managed to pick up Thai red bull for the equivilant of 50c each. We will most probably be moving on before to long.
For now - night has just fallen and I think we are going to see what the local bars have to offer.